many fragments

last night i had a terrible dream. i had received an internship to work with le tigre. then, some weird things happened that i can't quite remember. the dream culminated with two mean and unpleasant people i once knew doing something to stop me from catching my train. then i just gave up. oh. i missed the train. things would never work out. i let my whole world just fall apart. it was so desperately depressing. so, what did i do? get out of bed ready to conquer the world and overcome that stupid dream? no. i snoozed the alarm for an hour and slept late, so shocked by the dream that i wanted to stay in bed forever.

as i read this, i remember how hard it is to tell people about dreams. often, the narrative is pretty simple. it's the subtle feelings and underlying responses to dream situations that's so moving and memorable. so, nevermind.

yesterday also started off on a rotten note. a young man attempted to scam me using the old *72 scam. so, a man calls me collect (the reasons why i accepted a collect call from an unknown source are complicated and not very good.) when i answer, he tells me that he dialed the wrong number and he is in an emergency. his children need to be picked up from his mother's house, but he was in a traffic accident and was arrested. will i please "please, ma'am" call his uncle for him and relay the message. dial *72 713-926-4209. he pleads, please ma'am. my kids.

so, i call the number, but not the *72, because i don't know what that does. i relay the message to a disappointed sounding young man, who doesn't sound like anyone's uncle. my assumption is that it is some kind of drug message. the guy was arrested and he wants to launder his communications through some pansy middle man. you know, someone needs to pick up my "kids," read pound of cocaine. i thought *72 maybe blocks the caller id from picking up the number you're calling.

well, i'm already running late, so now i'm late and feel somehow dirty. whatever the call was, it wasn't good news. i walk out to my car, turn it on, and no air conditioner. the a/c worked fine last friday, the last time i drove the car. but no, not any more. luckily, it's only 86 degrees in the morning....

i get to work and do a web search on "*72" but can't find anything. i call john paul to share my terrible morning with someone. later, he finds the scam on snoopes. if you didn't click the link, *72 activates call forwarding, so the scammer can receive long distance and collect calls through your phone, racking up hundreds or thousands of dollars in phone bills that you are then liable for. shocking. tomorrow i will try to call the police fraud squad, if there is such a thing. not like i expect them to do anything, but i have the guy's phone number....

tomorrow i will also take my car to fixers (my favorite eastern european mechanic) to check on the a/c. looking back, i took my car to him for the same problem exactly a year ago today. global warming and my car do not get along - on so many levels.

on the positive news front, i finally did something. i finally took a decisive step. well, sort of. it's just a tiny step, but a step nonetheless. i signed up for doula training at the end of the month in dallas. you might not know, but a doula is a non-medical birth assistant. a doula first meets with a birthing couple or mother to discuss what the parent(s) hope the birth experience will be like. they create a birth plan. then, the doula arrives when the birth begins and helps to support the mother and partner throughout the labor. when the birth is in the hospital, the doula can act as a neutral party, explaining what medical interventions are being offered and ensuring that the hospital staff is accepting of the mother's choices. the role of a doula is well summarized by the organization "doulas of north america" in their position paper.

research on doula-assisted births show clear medical and psychological benefits for the mother and the baby. some of those studies are well-presented in a recent article in the journal pediatrics.

At the present time, the demands on labor and delivery nurses are so great that they can spend less that 10% of their time providing supportive services. By adding continuous doula support, researchers found remarkable positive perinatal effects, as demonstrated in a meta-analysis of the first 6 randomized, controlled trials (RCTs). (2-8) There were reductions in cesarean deliveries by 50%, use of forceps by 40%, and requests for epidural analgesia by 60%, and a 25% decrease in labor length. These RCTs took place in hospitals that did not permit family members or friends to be present with the laboring woman or allowed only brief visits.

At this point there were questions about whether there would be similar positive effects for middle- or upper-income groups or for women accompanied by their husbands during labor and delivery. As a result, an RCT of healthy women, each of whom was expecting to be supported by her male partner, was conducted. (9) All could have family members present. A cesarean delivery was required by 22.5% of the women who were accompanied only by a male partner compared with 14.2% of those supported by both the father and a doula. This study showed the value of doula support for all mothers whether laboring alone or with a partner. The doula does not displace the father but supports him, shows him how he can be helpful, and relieves much of his anxiety.

further, a study in johannesburg shows that

At 6 weeks there were impressive postpartum behavioral differences: a significantly greater proportion of doula-group women were breastfeeding (51% compared with 29%), and the doula-group women were significantly less anxious, had lower scores on a test of depression, and had higher levels of self-esteem.

so, it's not midwifery school, or library science school, but it is a step towards something greater. come to me with all of your doula needs. i'll be ready for you!

i have other news of travel, but i'll save it for later.